When someone hurts you...

When someone hurts you- is it your fault for allowing them to hurt you? Did you trust them too fast or are you just too sensitive?

For me I think I just care too much about random strangers- wanting to help them. It's a bleeding heart. But how do I stop the bleeding? I don't feel the need for love as much as I feel the need to love someone else. Or could I just be too nice and naive? I get excited about a new friend, experience, relationship and want so badly for it to work I ruin it. People judge me based on a first impression and are quick to decide that I won't fit into their life. This is the impatience. Impatience to fill the voids of not having a a great strong group of girlfriends, the backing of a boyfriend/ husband or the mother.

Although, I feel like I keep getting burned because I'm trying to fill this voids with the wrong people. People I can't trust, hobbies I don't really love, where does it end? How do stop the cycle? I'm just tired of waiting, but don't know how to change or make it happen. What do I want? Who do I want to become? I know these answers, but actually doing it is the hard part. Especially since I don't know how to get it.

Keeping the faith, trying to love, and focusing on what really matters. ME. Stay guarded but open. Is that possible? The bleeding heart on my sleeve has got to see a surgeon stat.